My sleep schedule has been wonky of late. Sometimes I stay up all night to go to sleep at 8 am. Other times, like last night, I went to sleep at midnight-ish and woke up around 4:30 am. I was planning to resume my snoozing, but hit that odd place between really tired and wide awake, the era of the second wind, and as I was particularly hungry, I stayed up until the cafe was open to get food for the day. I didn’t want to risk sleeping through the morning and missing my only option for hot food aside from kettle-made ramen.
Overall, it ended up being a productive morning. I took videos of monkeys chilling on the ledge outside my window, exercised, bought a few groceries, extended my hotel stay until the 15th and got breakfast and food for dinner. I also walked around and made double sure that there is in fact no laundry service open in the area that I could use. Guess it’s still self laundry via the shower for another 8 days.
Despite what it may seem, I have settled into a routine, although the timing of such may shift depending on the day. I go out in the morning for takeaway breakfast and extra food for dinner. I do my regular practices of writing, reading, exercise and meditation throughout the day. I connect with family and friends. I binge watch shows that I never would have watched otherwise. I even learn new skills like cutting my own hair in the bathroom mirror.
Daily life such as this has become normal. That doesn’t mean I want to continue it indefinitely given the option for something different.
I’ve had a few conversations about what’s next. It’s still very open as to what options will be available come April 15. A lot depends on what India decides concerning the lockdown and what other countries do. Both international and domestic travel are extremely limited as of right now. I don’t want to remain in the country if the lockdown is extended for a significant amount of time. I also don’t want to go somewhere else if it’s going to be the same version of isolation there. So we’ll see what happens and hopefully by the end of this 21-day stint, a path forward will open up.
I’m certainly ready for something new. It doesn’t have to be particularly exciting or along the lines of life changing.
A simple conversation in person over a cup of coffee seated in a cafe will do.
Oh, and an end to this global crisis with full recovery of the physical and financial health of all individuals, businesses and countries.
That’s not too much to ask, is it?
WRITING REFLECTIONS
To make it through chaotic times, there are things we need. As a friend said to me last night, they aren’t guarantees, but they are necessities.
Yes, we need to adapt. Yes, we need to endure. Yes, we need to keep optimism at the forefront of our minds.
But beyond that, a certain level of consistency and temporary normalcy goes a long way in thwarting the potentially negative effects of chaos. For amidst the proverbial dark cloud looming right above our heads, there is a silver lining somewhere in its billowing folds.
Here’s what I mean.
Back in December, while visiting family in the US for the holidays, my brother took me to a Mexican restaurant owned by a friend of his. The owner, Alex, would stop by our table to talk with us when he had time in between customers and food service. At one point, he mentioned he had recently visited his home country (El Salvador I believe) where he had taken his twelve-year-old son for the first time.
While telling us about his experience, he shared something interesting.
“I feel freer there,” he said.
I was tempted to ask Alex more about it, but I didn’t in part because I knew exactly what he meant, to the point that his words might as well have been my own.
It’s hard to explain an experience to someone. You can use familiar words to describe the unfamiliar, but there’s still a gap. So when I say that I feel freer in my lifestyle and travels through countries that are considered less developed or advanced than I ever did living in the West, it may not make sense to you. That’s okay. It doesn’t have to.
But what I hope does resonate, particularly in this time of uncertainty, is a universal truth that applies to us all.
Chaos isn’t necessarily bad. Sometimes you need to take a sledgehammer to a crumbling wall to determine which parts hold merit. The same is true for the human existence, one in which many of us are coming to understand firsthand the effects isolation can have on our collective spirits.
So I encourage you to hold faith in these moments, place foundational stones that can withstand weather and time going forward, and remember that despite what we may have once believed —
There is freedom in the chaos.
I think Alex would agree.