I did a full count of the number of days of the lockdown. Originally it was set for three weeks ending on April 15, then was extended until May 3rd, which I thought made the total 35 days.
Bad math — it’s 40.
40 days…I could have sailed atop a global flood via a wooden Ark or gone ‘n done (said with a country twang) a proper fasted vision quest through the woods in the same amount of time. Interestingly this experience has embodied elements from both of those scenarios.
Someone posted in the Rishikesh Facebook group that we were almost through the lockdown. I’m all for optimism and positivity, but it has to be rooted in some version of reality. Or at the very least doesn’t fly in the face of it.
By my count, there are still two weeks left.
So naw fam, the end ain’t that close.
In the meantime, I’m just carrying on and keeping calm like the memes say to do. Working on a few projects, writing away, doing my daily routine that includes exercise and feeding cows, fighting boredom, and occasionally getting reprimanded for socializing too close while waiting for my breakfast. FYI, there are no reported Covid cases in Rishikesh which, although it may not be accurate, is nice to hear.
In bovine news, it seems the cows are starting to accept me as part of their herd. I am regularly getting nuzzled and licked even without food to give away. Everyone likes to feel wanted.
And in an upturn, the great universe above has heard my wishes and benevolently granted 2 out of 3 of the items on my list. I now have a place I can go to sit and write/work/relax within my hotel that isn’t my room and I was able to get some laundry done properly this week. Still waiting on the third wish to be able to walk freely down to the Ganges River, but I’m happy with what I’ve received up to this point.
Gratitude is a practice after all.
WRITING (& READING) REFLECTIONS
At the encouragement of a friend, I’ve been reading Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield which is effectively a sequel to The War of Art (obviously a play on the title of the Sun Tzu manuscript). The War of Art is a fantastic read for any creatives out there, but also applies more broadly to anyone wanting to do, or currently doing, any actions that improve their lives. I’ve recommended the book to countless others so getting me to read Turning Pro wasn’t a hard sell although I did have a certain amount of resistance to it (readers of The War of Art will appreciate what I just did there).
I’m about halfway through the book and the most significant part to catch my attention is the idea of a Shadow Career. Pressfield describes it as embodying many of the traits of our true work, or calling, to the point that we believe it to be the real thing even though it is not.
“Work” in this case isn’t necessarily your job but more along the lines of life purpose, which may or may not be how you earn a living. I define it in the words of Parker Palmer:
“This is something I can’t not do, for reasons I’m unable to explain to anyone else and don’t fully understand myself but that are nonetheless compelling.”
This concept gets particularly interesting when paired with the online well-being course I’m taking from Yale. In the class, there’s a survey designed to identify your top 4 character strengths/traits (out of 24 possible). Research in psychological well-being has shown that if you choose work that allows you to play to these strengths, you are extremely likely to consider that work a calling.
Hmmm…I’m digging the synergy here.
One thing I’ve come to realize is that Shadow Careers aren’t all bad. They can help prepare us for the real thing. But we have to be aware they aren’t the true path, and understand that the lack of this awareness is what trips us up.
Talking to a friend a week ago, we discussed the concept of a Shadow Career, something he is feeling right now in his current circumstances.
I can relate. I’ve been there. In some ways I still am.
I used the analogy that it’s like you’re walking on a path and look over to see the true path next to you, but can’t figure out how to get to it. So you keep traveling parallel to it, knowing it’s in the periphery at all times.
“Can’t” is a bad word. Because you *can* get to it. It’s right there in plain sight. And the thing stopping us in almost every case comes as no surprise.
Fear.
When everything is stripped away, our excuses have been laid to rest and all weapons of reason pulled from their scabbards, fear is squarely in the mix of why we do not take the leap onto what we perceive to be a very shaky bridge.
The reason I know this, the reason I was able to so clearly identify it in my friend’s hesitancy, is because I have felt it clearly within myself.
Fear recognizes fear.
But I also have seen a glimpse of the other side, perhaps even taken a step or two on that shaky bridge, and from my limited vantage point, what I can say is that once you commit to the true path, once you take the steps to walk it, the fear that was so debilitating before begins to vanish.
Fear is born in the shadows. It’s what keeps us in the Shadow Career where Pressfield says there is no risk of failing. The Shadow Career is safe and comfortable and lets us believe the lie we are doing that which we are supposed to.
But we know the truth. Deep down we always do.
My advice to my friend wasn’t to throw all caution to the wind and fully commit to his real work. I can’t make that choice for him nor anyone aside for myself, although I may wish it for all of us.
No, my advice was to be real about it. To be authentic in his choice. To acknowledge his fear and say either “I’m going to act in accordance with it or against it” (Learned from The 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do).
If he decides to stay in his Shadow Career, that is his choice and his alone. I will support him just as if he chooses to be true to his calling. I just encouraged him to be honest in what he is choosing and — more importantly — the reason(s) why.
If it’s out of fear, then so be it. Just own it.
I wrote recently on a separate topic that there is freedom in chaos.
From my experience, that’s not the only place where freedom lies.
It’s also found in accepting the truth.
Peace and good tidings from here in India to wherever you may be.