Self Retreat Lockdown Day 3 of 40: The Good, The Bad and The Hungry

I was planning to get up before 9 today to walk over to the grocery store while I let the hotel clean my room. Stores are only open between 7 and 10 am here in Rishikesh, India, so if I missed this window I’d have to wait until tomorrow which is a gamble as to what will or won’t be available.

After being unable to sleep and laying awake until 4am~, I woke up at 9:35 in the morning as I had (of course) set my alarm for pm instead of am.

I made my way downstairs in time to find the grocery stores still open including the organic store. This was huge because it gives me a wider range of food to eat rather than my “poor college student” meals of ramen, cereal and cookies. Also there was no line this time and buying supplies didn’t feel like an end-of-the-world-everyone-for-themselves feeding frenzy.

Snapped a picture of a cow waiting at the door of a pizza restaurant (I would have split a pie with him) and headed back to the hotel to find my room was done being cleaned shortly after arriving. I talked to the hotel owner on WhatsApp, extended my stay for another 6-day increment, and was told I have access to the lobby so I don’t have to spend every waking minute in my room.

All in all, a lot of small wins for the morning.

As for the rest of the day it was moderately productive. I did change my intermittent fasting from a 6-hour window to 8 since I was starving last night almost to the point I couldn’t sleep. I’ll see if I can work my way down to 6.

I also discovered yesterday afternoon that my iPad will no longer connect to the hotel’s WiFi. My phone connects without issue. After troubleshooting every suggestion I’ve been given and finding my laptop doesn’t connect either, I’ve decided to give it a rest and look at it as an opportunity to focus on non-WiFi required activities. We will see how long I last just using my phone for any entertainment outlets.

WRITING REFLECTIONS

More and more people I talk to are finding value in this time of uncertainty. They are seeing a shift within themselves and, to a certain degree, in the world around them.

This is inspiring and motivates me to continue to do the same.

Through this unique and unforeseen leg of the journey, I am increasingly surprised by how unaffected (in a negative sense) I am by my current situation. I can point to a number of experiences that have contributed to this, but if you told me five years ago that I would be 1) in lockdown for an undetermined amount of time, 2) in a foreign country, 3) in a small town with limited access to food, 4) having to wash my clothes in the shower and do the dishes in the bathroom sink, and 5) not knowing a single soul beyond a smile and wave greeting…my response would have been:

WTF? No.

But a lot has happened in those five years. Unnoticed changes, I suppose, that have taught me not only the practice but the value of adapting to the situation I am handed, of finding meaning in the small moments that make up the bulk of our days, and most recently accepting that in any experience there are both positive and negative aspects and how we choose to sit with them doesn’t determine everything that matters, it determines the only thing that does —

Now.

This moment.

The one you’re experiencing while reading these words as I experience it writing them.

As evidenced by conversations I’ve had, seen through postings on social media, and heard about via other outlets, this seems to be what people are discovering.

The importance of now. The importance of the meaning in the moment. The importance of clearing away the distraction to leave behind in plain view what matters most to you, as a being on this planet, at this time and in this place.

Of course anyone would ask for this to happen under better circumstances. If we had the choice of this unfolding as it is or choosing it to occur by walking through Door Number 2, we may very well all opt for the latter option.

But we are living in the situation before us and Door Number 2 only exists in hindsight and drifting daydreams.

I joked with a friend that this time of reflection is like being given a million dollars but not liking the briefcase it comes in. Granted in this example, that briefcase is potentially deathly toxic, but the contents still remain of value.

Except we aren’t being handed a substantial sum of cash. We are being rewarded with an opportunity to (re)examine our daily lives, decide what the “now” should be, and set forth how we want to move forward in all the tomorrows to come.

This certainly isn’t valued at a million dollars.

Because for us it’s priceless.