It is time.
Eight months.
That’s how long I have been in India. Almost the entirety of this year save for a month prior in Sri Lanka.
It was strange to fly into Delhi from Goa this past week and tell the taxi driver at the airport how long I had been in his country. I wasn’t new blood anymore, having been here longer than in any country since I first began traveling four years ago.
As I’ve written before, going to India was frightening. Never in all my travels have I been so apprehensive about heading somewhere or the experiences I may encounter.
In short, I was afraid I wasn’t ready.
Looking back, to say my fear was largely unfounded would be the truth, but saying it was completely unfounded would be a lie.
India was wonderful, but challenging and hard at the same time.
From making noodles while isolated in my hotel room with a daily 1 pm curfew to living in the Bali-esque lushness of South Goa, India has been a microcosm of an entire lifetime, filled with phases upon phases of living through the lockdown.
I have laughed, loved, cried, been broken-hearted and shared experiences unable to be explained with words to the point there’s no room for it all in my memory banks.
But now, I need something else. Among that is time away to process all of it and a return of sorts.
A return to friends.
A return to family.
A return to the west.
I doubt any words can express how I feel about my experience in India and some of it is so raw that it needs time to register, but I will give it my best effort.
I’ll miss the cows. Not the flies.
I’ll miss the food. Not what comes after.
I’ll miss the scooter rides. Not the traffic.
I’ll miss the music. Not the noise.
I’ll miss the broken roads. Not the stumped toes.
I’ll miss the warm smiles. Not the heat.
I’ll miss the people. Not the crowds.
I’ll miss the peace. Not the chaos.
In the end, l’ll miss it all.
Because without any of it, it wouldn’t be India —
And my heart beats in India.
As if by some cosmic timing, my toenail that had been completely removed after I broke it during India’s Holi celebration so many months ago has finally healed to completion.
A symbolic gesture that everything has come full circle.
That my journey in India is at an end.
Next stop: Mexico.
Where new experiences and new adventures await.
And this time, I can say with certainty —
I am ready.